Premeditation
by pekori
Summary: Kyouya Ootori is on the verge of becoming the NotSoCool Type.


Author's Note: While I am certainly no stranger to fan fiction, this is my first true attempt at anime/manga fan fiction, so, naturally it might not read the way you're used to it. Hopefully I did all right, though. Feedback would be lovely. 

Disclaimer and Acknowledgements: _Ouran High School Host Club_ was created by Bisco Hatori and definitely not licensed by myself. Therefore, the following is a work of fiction using characters that are not my own, and no harm nor profit is meant or made by publishing this.

* * *

It was late, and Kyouya Ootori was tired. After the antics of today's meeting of the Host Club, he'd been forced to spend the past several hours completely reworking their finances. Even he hadn't foreseen just how awry things were going to go, and, to be perfectly honest with himself, had actually not foreseen too many consequences at all. Normally he had such an eye for these things; he couldn't figure out what had happened this time. 

The scattered piles of paperwork, spread across the table he himself had painstakingly cleaned out of sheer frustration, radiated a feeling of foreboding and only served to compound his stress. He sat back, leaning against the backing of the couch and as far away from the table as he could get, and covered his face with his hands. There was absolutely no excuse for him to be crumbling like this, and yet here he found himself unable to rationalize, unable to focus on anything but his utter failure.

The theme behind today's endeavor had been suggested by Haruhi. It was another mildly historical idea, if not rather fictionally so. They were the animals of the Chinese zodiac, though they were a few short, due to their numbers and the fact that the twins insisted they be allowed to dress as the same animal, the Monkey. Everyone else, however, gladly and even excitedly took on the roles that Haruhi had recommended when she had made the suggestion: Tamaki as the Rooster, Honey as the Rabbit, Mori as the Dog, Kyouya as the Rat and herself as the Tiger (though that was a last minute change by Tamaki and the twins, as she had originally wanted to be the Horse, since it involved less face paint and isn't quite as fierce).

Once everyone was outfitted with their headgear and had their faces properly painted, the doors were unlocked and the hosts' fun began. To Kyouya's pleasant surprise, the meeting actually started off almost boringly normally. The clients started filing in and swooned and squealed at the novel idea, as always, each fawning over their preferred host, as always, and generally making a big fuss over nothing, as always. Haruhi's clients in particular were giddy when they found out that it was "his" suggestion in the first place, and doled out mountains of praise for being so clever. Kyouya only smiled to himself and took note, even knocking a few thousand yen off of Haruhi's debt as his own means of a compliment. Then, he returned immediately to his duty, appeasing his own clients who insisted that even though he was dressed as the Rat, which was an animal they normally could not stand, he was the most attractive Rat they had ever seen.

Things continued to run as smoothly as they ever did for nearly the full two hours, and then it happened. Whether it was due to the goading of their clients, or simply due to their own vanity, the twins executed what was quite possibly one of the most disastrously dastardly stunts of their short lives. Perhaps Kyouya should have seen it coming, as they _were_ dressed as two, playful monkeys, but since it was Haruhi's suggestion he hadn't really seen the harm in it. After all, it did make a lot of sense. Too much sense.

It all started with a crash. The heads of everyone in the room jerked in the direction of the sound of glass shattering. The twins, looking bewildered, were covered in lukewarm tea. Hikaru held the teapot, while Kaoru looked ashamed, seemingly having dropped his cup as Hikaru was attempting to refill it. It was as if neither had expected it to happen, as if they had no notion of their own premeditation. "Oi, Kaoru, Hikaru. Be more careful." That was Tamaki's first mistake.

Finally, Kyouya could see right through the twins, but at this point he could do nothing to stop them. The plan was already in motion. He could tell in the way the realization simultaneously dawned over their mischievous, simian faces. Slowly, Hikaru set the teapot down on the table once more, and each Hitachiin reached for a blueberry tart on the top of the small pile that decorated their table. Hikaru turned to the right as Kaoru turned to the left and they immediately hurled the tarts as far as they could across the room, aiming for Tamaki, but neither projectile came anywhere near its mark. The first's landed in Haruhi's lap, while the second's smashed magnificently into the chest of one of her clients.

Haruhi immediately jumped up to help her client clean up, causing the dessert to fall and splatter onto the floor at her feet. As she took a few stumbling steps forward with a napkin, she slipped on the tart, causing her to crash face down onto the table between her and her client. A couple of teacups fell to the floor and smashed, the tea from the cups splashing onto the hems of their dresses, but her other client just managed to save the teapot from falling as well. Poor Haruhi, however, was completely covered from having fallen directly onto a pile of desserts, and yet she persevered in her attempts to help her client clean up.

By this time, Tamaki was rushing over to assist with a cry of, "Don't worry, Haruhi! Daddy is coming to help!" His own clients didn't seem to mind being abandoned, too aghast with the scene before them to really take much notice. As he ran, Hikaru couldn't help but take an easy shot at him with another dessert, and while the first missed, Kaoru hit their mark with his own attempt. Tamaki, now half-blinded by the creme covering the better part of his face, skidded to a stop just in time to avoid falling over onto the table himself, but not in time to stop himself from running into Haruhi's tart-covered client. The two toppled back onto her chair, which promptly fell backwards itself, and the two of them splayed across the marble floor, tangled up in each other.

With Honey egging him on, Mori quickly intervened and lifted Tamaki effortlessly, pulling him off of the poor girl while Haruhi scrambled to help her client back to her feet. The girl was in tears, more because of the mess, it seemed, as she didn't appear to be hurt despite everything. Haruhi apologized over and over again, wiping in vain at the deep violet fruit stains covering her client's dress and smearing the crumbled crust through it. Kyouya could only stand back in both awe and shame, watching the scene unfold. He felt detached and hollow, his embarrassment having gutted him so he wouldn't have to feel its full intensity in the presence of the others. He knew that he would never get an apology out of the twins without a sufficient bribe, and they were certainly very undeserving of that at this point, so Haruhi's would have to suffice for now. All of the profits made today and then some would have to go to replacing the tea sets, cleaning the upholstery and probably end up going to the client to pay for her uniform as well as incentive for her to return despite today's inexcusable debauchery.

The meeting obviously ended early, and though the twins attempted to sneak out and avoid the consequences, Mori and Honey stopped them at the door. Haruhi herself was the one who sat them down and scolded them, Tamaki interjecting every so often with "parental advice" (which simply amounted to him agreeing with whatever Haruhi had just said). Kyouya just couldn't even look at them. He had so much work in front of him, so much refiguring and redistributing to work out, that there was no room for him to focus on anything else. Besides, Haruhi, from what he caught of it, was handling the twins brilliantly on her own.

While Haruhi's rage continued, Kyouya began delicately stacking the remaining teacups and saucers of the set that the twins had been using. He didn't yet bother with the pieces that were destroyed, wanting to put away the good ones before cleaning. The upholstery was looking more and more like it would be better replaced than cleaned, but he couldn't concern himself with that now. The table was painstakingly cleared, and Kyouya was deathly quiet as he set to work rebalancing their finances to compensate for the twins' rampage. Even when Haruhi finally finished her lecture, no one approached Kyouya, and simply went about cleaning up the rest of the messes before leaving the music room to change and go home.

Now, hours later, Kyouya had made a lot of progress, but still couldn't quite figure out what to do about the twins' probation. Clearly they would need to be punished for this, but their sales and their income would suffer without the two of them taking in clients, especially in light of all of the wasted funds. He gently pulled his glasses off, setting them on top of the papers so he could put both hands over his face. Cool, calm, collected Kyouya was completely destroyed by the stress of this situation, but mostly by his own disappointment in himself.

"Senpai," a small voice called from across the room. Kyouya hadn't even heard the door open, but didn't bother to look up to see Haruhi watching him from the door. If he had, he would've seen the identical shadows standing behind her, their guilt and remorse evident even on their darkened faces. When Kyouya didn't respond, the three made their way across the floor anyway, three pairs of shoes clicking against the marble, two of them perfectly in sync. They stopped upon reaching Kyouya, and the heavy silence amongst them spoke volumes before anyone even made to open a mouth to speak.

"We were wrong." It was one of the twins, but Kyouya couldn't be sure which without looking.

"Yes, we're sorry." The voices sounded so genuine, almost believable.

"We'll pay for the damages. All of them." This time, they were in unison, and that, maybe because of the combined effort of their voices, finally made Kyouya believe.

"Thank you." Though he still didn't look up or take his hands from his face, the trio of first years knew their place and knew that it would be wiser to leave him once more. Haruhi looked mildly satisfied that she'd been able to do the right thing, and the twins more felt than looked relieved that Kyouya didn't have the strength to impose any punishment yet. But that really was Kyouya's plan all along. For all his frustration and anger, keeping the twins in such anxious suspense very nearly made it all worth it.

* * *

_Fin._


End file.
